Monday, July 9, 2012
WHat was i thinking
So after being crazy ass drunk and posting that nonsense on here and on FACEBOOK, and i am filled with regret. I think I literally went off the deep end that night. I actually hurt myself. I took something small and sharp and scratched my arms. Like those little teenagers who are cutting. I didnt use a razor or knife - i was too scared for that - i just used something sharp. I dont know what possessed me to do that, i really dont undderstand it at all. my poor husband had to deal with me. i was crying and sobbing "saying i want to die" i dont. i want to not feel this loss. i should be hopeful.my appt with dr. le is tomorrow. we are actually going to start the IVF process. Hubbys parents savd up enough money and we can actually do it. so why am i scared?