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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

a day in the life of...A FRUSTRATED WOMAN

So it's 33 days into the cycle. I am either 2 days late or 1 day early. You can never tell. I tell ym husband at 10pm I am going to CVS, because I can't wait anymore. we drive to the first one. Close at 10pm. I remember the other one that 24hrs. buy the test. drive home. drink water. read instructions. pee on stick...and then the two words I hate..."Not Pregnant" For some reason, the digital tests are worse than the stupid blue lines.'s only been 6 months of trying, and I know that's not a long time in a doctor's mind, but it is SIX friggin months. day by day of ovulation tests.
anyway, what makes it worse, is that my best friend is pregnant. I am so happy for her and have to curb the green monster from popping out. I wish we hadn't thought of this genius plan to start trying at the same time. what a stupid idea. I know she feels she can't truly be happy around me because it hurts me to hear it, and i wish i could say it wasn't so, but each time i think about it, it is painful. I have wanted kids since we got married. right away i wanted to get pregnant. 2 yrs later and no babies...unless u count the dogs. Well that's the whining for tonight. FRUSTRATION OUT!